You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize