my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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