Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
