My balls are so social today.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
