Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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