is your mom at the bar?
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
