Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
