i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
