Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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