I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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