Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
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