some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
