Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
