You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize