i jhust puked up my retainher.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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