Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
