so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
