I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm at about main and main street
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
