What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
