Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
