3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
