so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Randomize
