I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Randomize
