Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
