I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize