apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
