Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
stop calling my apartment porn island.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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