I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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