my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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