people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize