Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
