when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
