They should really pass out barf bags in church
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
