i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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