Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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