The maid of honor just puked.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
