i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Randomize
