Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
