I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
