Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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