I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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