The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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