i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
