Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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