somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I love having hate sex.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
