Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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