you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
