we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
