honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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