i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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