I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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