dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
