i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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