I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My breasts were aching with rage.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
