Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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