his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
the gays at disneyland are vicious
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
