Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
