I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
wow bdsm is so cute
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