The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
