im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
