I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
