Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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