it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
